What was the first album you ever purchased?
In the course of a conversation on music with old (or new) friends the question will eventually come up. Most music questions are subjective and the answers can be debated or changed. Who was the best 70"s band? What was your favorite 80's group? Who are the top 10 singers in your lifetime? There are many possible answers and you can change your mind after listening to someone else's passionate reasoning.
But you only bought your first album one time and there's only one answer. Either you bought it or you didn't. I grew up in the 70's and there were so many good bands that I could have chosen to spend $10 on. I wish I had bought Pink Floyd. That'd be a cool answer. Lynnard Skinnard, The Allman Brothers, CCR, or Queen....all would be proud answers to the question. I didn't really care for KISS or AC/DC but I'd be in good company if one them was my first. I loved REO, Fleetwood Mac, and Styx so it's a mystery why they weren't my first. If I wanted mellow, why didn't I go with Billy Joel or Simon and Garfunkel. There wouldn't even be any shame in the very 70's Abba or BeeGees.
But my first album was The Captain and Tennille. I know, I know. I can't explain it either. I remember I bought in K-Mart at the same time my brother bought Olivia Newton John. I swear...we are both heterosexual males.
Fortunately I fare much better when I am asked about my first concert. Because in 1980 I saw those macho bad boys from down under ----
--- Air Supply!
Oh Yeah!! Manhood restored!!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
They Come and They Go
People move in and out of your life. In fact, I'd say that in ten years you will have forgotten most of the people you spent time with this week. They were co-workers, classmates, neighbors or even friends. But unless there is a "blood tie" it is hard to keep all of these people in your life as your life changes. At least most of the time you have some say about who you choose to keep in your life, but thats not always the case.
A relationship between two people involves a lot more than two people doesn't it? Divorce is a good example because you typically aren't just divorcing your partner, you also divorce their entire families. All of the in-laws become people that you used to be related to. I've been through that and there are nieces and nephews that I miss but I was one of the two main characters in that break-up so I knew what was coming.
But now I'm a fringe player in another loss because my daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of two years. We all loved this kid! He stayed at the house, he played board games with the family and we even traveled with him. Then "Poof" he's gone. At least when you are the main character in the break-up, you get to know the reasons and mentally prepare and say your good-byes. Samantha actually didn't tell us for a couple of weeks because she worried about our reaction. The reasons for the break-up were mature enough and naturally my reaction was to support her, but still... it was hard not to say, "What the Hell?!" "Why?" "What about checking with me first??"
I know that this is just a natural part of modern courtship and in the end I just want them to both be happy. Of course we form attachments to the people our kids date for a long period of time. It's hard not to love someone who loves your kid! But from now on I'm going to maintain a bit of distance and not get too attached. We parents have to remember, it is THEIR relationship - not ours. I trust her judgement and I'm guessing that usually our own great kids will be drawn to other great kids. In fact she's already seeing a guy who seems like another nice kid.
But I'm not getting attached this time. And I'm going to start a movement to bring back arranged marriages. It probably wouldn't have worked before but I believe that my generation really does know best!
A relationship between two people involves a lot more than two people doesn't it? Divorce is a good example because you typically aren't just divorcing your partner, you also divorce their entire families. All of the in-laws become people that you used to be related to. I've been through that and there are nieces and nephews that I miss but I was one of the two main characters in that break-up so I knew what was coming.
But now I'm a fringe player in another loss because my daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of two years. We all loved this kid! He stayed at the house, he played board games with the family and we even traveled with him. Then "Poof" he's gone. At least when you are the main character in the break-up, you get to know the reasons and mentally prepare and say your good-byes. Samantha actually didn't tell us for a couple of weeks because she worried about our reaction. The reasons for the break-up were mature enough and naturally my reaction was to support her, but still... it was hard not to say, "What the Hell?!" "Why?" "What about checking with me first??"
I know that this is just a natural part of modern courtship and in the end I just want them to both be happy. Of course we form attachments to the people our kids date for a long period of time. It's hard not to love someone who loves your kid! But from now on I'm going to maintain a bit of distance and not get too attached. We parents have to remember, it is THEIR relationship - not ours. I trust her judgement and I'm guessing that usually our own great kids will be drawn to other great kids. In fact she's already seeing a guy who seems like another nice kid.
But I'm not getting attached this time. And I'm going to start a movement to bring back arranged marriages. It probably wouldn't have worked before but I believe that my generation really does know best!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Driving on Ice
Jonah's had his learners permit for a month now and I have to admit that he has been an excellent driver from the very first day. He seems completely natural behind the wheel and is eager to learn more.
Just like city kids learn to drive in traffic, mountain kids learn to drive by cliffs on ice. This morning was his first opportunity to do that. While we were still sitting in the driveway I told him that he just needed to know two things. Drive much slower and leave a lot of room between you and the car in front.
"Ya, Dad, I know."
At the first stop sign I told him he approached it too fast for driving on ice.
He said that he didn't see any ice so I told him about black ice and that you can't always see it.
"Ya Dad, I know."
Swan Mountain is between my house and the high school. It's curvy, steep, narrow, and often icy. (even in June) The top speed limit is 35mph. Jonah was doing about 30mph on a downhill curve when he started fish tailing on black ice.
Into oncoming traffic.
For a few seconds our van pivoted back and forth and couldn't decide if it was going to go left into the Jeep or right off the embankment. (I was hoping for the embankment)
To my credit, I didn't scream, yell instructions, or grab the wheel. To his credit he didn't scream, over correct, or slam on the brakes. I'm not sure if there was screaming in the Jeep or not. Although Jonah got us into the mess he very expertly got us out of it as the oncoming cars went wide around us.
I smiled at him. "That was scary."
"Yes it was." he calmly admitted.
When we got to the high school I told him that other than almost getting us killed he did a very nice job. I asked him if he knew now why he needs to go slow on ice.
"Ya, Dad."
Now I know he knows.
Just like city kids learn to drive in traffic, mountain kids learn to drive by cliffs on ice. This morning was his first opportunity to do that. While we were still sitting in the driveway I told him that he just needed to know two things. Drive much slower and leave a lot of room between you and the car in front.
"Ya, Dad, I know."
At the first stop sign I told him he approached it too fast for driving on ice.
He said that he didn't see any ice so I told him about black ice and that you can't always see it.
"Ya Dad, I know."
Swan Mountain is between my house and the high school. It's curvy, steep, narrow, and often icy. (even in June) The top speed limit is 35mph. Jonah was doing about 30mph on a downhill curve when he started fish tailing on black ice.
Into oncoming traffic.
For a few seconds our van pivoted back and forth and couldn't decide if it was going to go left into the Jeep or right off the embankment. (I was hoping for the embankment)
To my credit, I didn't scream, yell instructions, or grab the wheel. To his credit he didn't scream, over correct, or slam on the brakes. I'm not sure if there was screaming in the Jeep or not. Although Jonah got us into the mess he very expertly got us out of it as the oncoming cars went wide around us.
I smiled at him. "That was scary."
"Yes it was." he calmly admitted.
When we got to the high school I told him that other than almost getting us killed he did a very nice job. I asked him if he knew now why he needs to go slow on ice.
"Ya, Dad."
Now I know he knows.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
A Fall Drive
I should have been a trucker.
Forget the fact that I can't even back a trailer out of a driveway. I just like driving. It relaxes me. Putting miles behind me feels like progress even if I'm not going anywhere.
This Sunday, with a lot on my mind and no plans I just got in the car and started driving Colorado's back roads. I didn't plan on a 300 mile, 8 hour trip but thats what happened.
As you can see from the pictures below, I picked an excellent weekend to do it. I've said this before but I'll say it again. I live in a BEAUTIFUL part of this planet.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
For Noah on his 18th Birthday
Noah,
There is so much I want to tell you on your 18th birthday. The law says that legally you are a man now and honestly...that sends me into a panic because I feel like there is so much that I've neglected to say or teach you. Life is sooo fast. I swear you were just born last Sunday. On Tuesday you were climbing on to the roof when we weren't looking. And just yesterday it seems you were asking me to help you build a jet pack in the garage. It happened too fast and I'm not ready for you to be 18! I think that most advice a parent gives an 18 year old is swiftly forgotten. But maybe if I write it down, you can keep it and read it again occasionally and one day you might find some wisdom in it.
Noah, you have so much potential. Please don't settle for average. Please don't settle for what is easy or safe. The world can be scary. Life isn't fair. But I'm going to tell you a secret. We are all pretending. It's true. We are all scared. We are just guessing at the answers and nobody is as cool or confident as you think they are. We all wear masks when we go out in the world, Noah.
Smile. You don't do it often enough but you light up the room when you do. One day a girl is going to fall in love with you because of that smile.
Remember...Look people in the eye and give a firm handshake. I can't explain it but trust me. (it's a guy thing)
Make friends with all types of people and keep your eyes and mind open to everyone. Sometimes, the coolest friends are hiding in the oddest people.
Don't be afraid of strong women. If you find one that falls in love with your smile...make sure she is your equal and marry her.
Dance. I don't dance but I regret it. You'll always be popular with the ladies if you aren't afraid to dance. You don't even have to be good! Just don't be afraid!
Be proud of who you are. You are part of me - you are part of Mom. You are part of your grandparents. You are part of a thousand people who were born and lived and loved and died and passed a part of themselves on to create something incredible...you. Remember that and pass it on.
Trash talking is over rated. Be humble, be gracious.
You are the only person on this planet who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at school, or work, or the life in your mind. You are in charge of the life of your heart...your soul. I know that you tend to dismiss anything that can't be proven with science Noah, but it's your soul that truly defines who you are. It's your soul that will give you comfort when you're sad, or scared, or lonely. There really is something in the universe that is bigger than we are. Please be receptive and open to it when it comes to you.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. You will not understand this until years from now - but try. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Love it. Take care of it. It's the best thing you'll ever own.
Care about people. Really work at it if you have to. Don't dismiss their interests, music, religion, games or friends. It's a small world when you only put your happiness at the top.
Remember the compliments. Forget the insults.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Hug your father. Men should never be ashamed to show love. Hug your mother. She's the first woman that ever loved you. Understand that they are human and try to forgive their mistakes. Be nice to your brother and sister (even when it's hard!). Visit them and talk about the times when you were kids. They're your best link to the past and the people that will most likely stick with you in the future.
Do what makes you happy. Be yourself. It's OK to follow the beat of a different drummer as long as you remain a part of the world. Don't give up too easily, Noah. Be willing to invest the time to achieve your goals. Be honest. Talk is cheap. If you say you are going to do something - do it. Living your life with integrity and honesty is the only way to live. People will respect you for it but more importantly, you'll respect yourself. Always do your best.
I believe in you , Noah. Believe in yourself.
I love you,
Dad
There is so much I want to tell you on your 18th birthday. The law says that legally you are a man now and honestly...that sends me into a panic because I feel like there is so much that I've neglected to say or teach you. Life is sooo fast. I swear you were just born last Sunday. On Tuesday you were climbing on to the roof when we weren't looking. And just yesterday it seems you were asking me to help you build a jet pack in the garage. It happened too fast and I'm not ready for you to be 18! I think that most advice a parent gives an 18 year old is swiftly forgotten. But maybe if I write it down, you can keep it and read it again occasionally and one day you might find some wisdom in it.
Noah, you have so much potential. Please don't settle for average. Please don't settle for what is easy or safe. The world can be scary. Life isn't fair. But I'm going to tell you a secret. We are all pretending. It's true. We are all scared. We are just guessing at the answers and nobody is as cool or confident as you think they are. We all wear masks when we go out in the world, Noah.
Smile. You don't do it often enough but you light up the room when you do. One day a girl is going to fall in love with you because of that smile.
Remember...Look people in the eye and give a firm handshake. I can't explain it but trust me. (it's a guy thing)
Make friends with all types of people and keep your eyes and mind open to everyone. Sometimes, the coolest friends are hiding in the oddest people.
Don't be afraid of strong women. If you find one that falls in love with your smile...make sure she is your equal and marry her.
Dance. I don't dance but I regret it. You'll always be popular with the ladies if you aren't afraid to dance. You don't even have to be good! Just don't be afraid!
Be proud of who you are. You are part of me - you are part of Mom. You are part of your grandparents. You are part of a thousand people who were born and lived and loved and died and passed a part of themselves on to create something incredible...you. Remember that and pass it on.
Trash talking is over rated. Be humble, be gracious.
You are the only person on this planet who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at school, or work, or the life in your mind. You are in charge of the life of your heart...your soul. I know that you tend to dismiss anything that can't be proven with science Noah, but it's your soul that truly defines who you are. It's your soul that will give you comfort when you're sad, or scared, or lonely. There really is something in the universe that is bigger than we are. Please be receptive and open to it when it comes to you.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. You will not understand this until years from now - but try. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Love it. Take care of it. It's the best thing you'll ever own.
Care about people. Really work at it if you have to. Don't dismiss their interests, music, religion, games or friends. It's a small world when you only put your happiness at the top.
Remember the compliments. Forget the insults.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Hug your father. Men should never be ashamed to show love. Hug your mother. She's the first woman that ever loved you. Understand that they are human and try to forgive their mistakes. Be nice to your brother and sister (even when it's hard!). Visit them and talk about the times when you were kids. They're your best link to the past and the people that will most likely stick with you in the future.
Do what makes you happy. Be yourself. It's OK to follow the beat of a different drummer as long as you remain a part of the world. Don't give up too easily, Noah. Be willing to invest the time to achieve your goals. Be honest. Talk is cheap. If you say you are going to do something - do it. Living your life with integrity and honesty is the only way to live. People will respect you for it but more importantly, you'll respect yourself. Always do your best.
I believe in you , Noah. Believe in yourself.
I love you,
Dad
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Healthcare
I stopped blogging about political issues once the election was over and my guy won. I thought "we're in good hands now and the president doesn't need my help." But since everyone of us has a stake in the healthcare debates now raging across the country I'm feeling the urge to step in with my undervalued opinion. I recently started worrying about it more than I have in the past because of some deep layoffs in my company and the realization that could lose my job and my health benefits. I also have an adult daughter now who will come off my policy as soon as she stops attending college. The thought of myself being uninsured worries me, the thought of my kid being uninsured sends me into a panic!
I'm in awe - a sickening sort of awe - as I watch protestors across the nation screaming against socialized health care. Does anybody see the irony of senior citizens on medicaid yelling at congressmen that they are against socialized medicine? Did you see the sign held up by the woman that said "Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare"? Does anybody shake their head in disbelief as Republican Senators with their gold plated government healthcare condemn any plans to give that same care to the rest of us?
That's right. Our politicians enjoy taxpayer-funded healthcare. All of the senators and representatives in Washington enjoy health benefits that are fully paid by you and me. I don’t see any of America’s politicians opting out of their taxpayer-funded plans in favor of the supposedly superior private health plans, do you? They have the luxury of coverage at taxpayer expense, while we taxpayers have to worry about where or whether we will even get coverage, much less coverage that we can afford.
A main argument from the right is that they don't want government bureaucrats making healthcare decisons for them. But our current private system has insurance company bureaucrats deciding which medical procedures they will cover and which they will not. They also decide whether or not they will cover you at all and how much you must pay them for your coverage. Insurance companies dictate to doctors what care you are allowed, compromising what would otherwise be the best medical practices in the world. The biggest difference between the government and the insurance bureaucrats is that insurance companies actually have an incentive to give you less care because they will make more money by denying claims and treatments.
Many claim that America has the best healthcare system in the world. Sadly, that is just not true. We only have the most expensive system in the world. Are we getting our money’s worth?
Choose any type of health measurement and compare America against any other industrialized nation. The comparison is not good. Life expectancy in the U.S. ranks 24th in the world. Life expectancy in the U.S. ties with Slovenia. We rank 29th in the world for infant mortality. Even Cuba ranks ahead of us. We fare poorly in several other rankings as well, including overall cost, access, and health outcomes. It turns out that America has, at best, the 24th best healthcare system in the world. Want to know what the top 23 countries are doing? They all have universal healthcare.
A generation ago, working for only one company over the course of your career was the norm. Today, the average worker will work for six different companies. Additionally, more workers than ever before are self-employed or run small businesses. Employer-sponsored healthcare no longer makes any sense. Many of my conservative friends and relatives have the traditional family where mom stays home with the kids and dad goes to work and gets the employer based health policy. Well if dad leaves or dies, mom cannot continue to stay at home and care for the children as before. She must, in a time of crisis, look for a (full-time) job with healthcare benefits. Countless Americans remain in their jobs when they would rather stay home to care for their children, simply because they have to in order to continue their medical insurance coverage. That is not exactly “family values.”
Forty-seven million Americans are now uninsured and that number is growing as job losses continue. Uninsured people still get sick. They still visit the doctor or, worse, the emergency room, which is 10 times the cost. Who pays? Those of us with insurance. I went to the podiatrist last month for some foot pain. The total bill for an xray, 20 minutes of the doctors time and some shoe inserts cost $850. It doesn't take a genius to see that there is a lot more rolled into that bill than the care I received. You and I are ALREADY paying for the uninsured every time we pay a premium; we pay again every time our premiums go up. And our premiums will continue to go up. The price of insurance premiums is rising much faster than wages, and there is no end in sight.
In America, we believe that we all deserve equal protection from crime and fire. The police and the firemen should respond to you just as fast as they respond to Donald Trump, right? We believe that the poor have the same right to clean water and safe roads as the rich. We even pass laws guaranteeing that everyone have affordable access to cable TV! But in this the greatest nation on earth, a country as well off, as caring, as Christian, as the United States of America, it is unacceptable that our politicians would say that we can have equal rights in so many things but if I want the same coverage as them, then I'm a socialist.
There! I got that off my chest. Let me know if anything I said changed your opinion on the subject!
I'm in awe - a sickening sort of awe - as I watch protestors across the nation screaming against socialized health care. Does anybody see the irony of senior citizens on medicaid yelling at congressmen that they are against socialized medicine? Did you see the sign held up by the woman that said "Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare"? Does anybody shake their head in disbelief as Republican Senators with their gold plated government healthcare condemn any plans to give that same care to the rest of us?
That's right. Our politicians enjoy taxpayer-funded healthcare. All of the senators and representatives in Washington enjoy health benefits that are fully paid by you and me. I don’t see any of America’s politicians opting out of their taxpayer-funded plans in favor of the supposedly superior private health plans, do you? They have the luxury of coverage at taxpayer expense, while we taxpayers have to worry about where or whether we will even get coverage, much less coverage that we can afford.
A main argument from the right is that they don't want government bureaucrats making healthcare decisons for them. But our current private system has insurance company bureaucrats deciding which medical procedures they will cover and which they will not. They also decide whether or not they will cover you at all and how much you must pay them for your coverage. Insurance companies dictate to doctors what care you are allowed, compromising what would otherwise be the best medical practices in the world. The biggest difference between the government and the insurance bureaucrats is that insurance companies actually have an incentive to give you less care because they will make more money by denying claims and treatments.
Many claim that America has the best healthcare system in the world. Sadly, that is just not true. We only have the most expensive system in the world. Are we getting our money’s worth?
Choose any type of health measurement and compare America against any other industrialized nation. The comparison is not good. Life expectancy in the U.S. ranks 24th in the world. Life expectancy in the U.S. ties with Slovenia. We rank 29th in the world for infant mortality. Even Cuba ranks ahead of us. We fare poorly in several other rankings as well, including overall cost, access, and health outcomes. It turns out that America has, at best, the 24th best healthcare system in the world. Want to know what the top 23 countries are doing? They all have universal healthcare.
A generation ago, working for only one company over the course of your career was the norm. Today, the average worker will work for six different companies. Additionally, more workers than ever before are self-employed or run small businesses. Employer-sponsored healthcare no longer makes any sense. Many of my conservative friends and relatives have the traditional family where mom stays home with the kids and dad goes to work and gets the employer based health policy. Well if dad leaves or dies, mom cannot continue to stay at home and care for the children as before. She must, in a time of crisis, look for a (full-time) job with healthcare benefits. Countless Americans remain in their jobs when they would rather stay home to care for their children, simply because they have to in order to continue their medical insurance coverage. That is not exactly “family values.”
Forty-seven million Americans are now uninsured and that number is growing as job losses continue. Uninsured people still get sick. They still visit the doctor or, worse, the emergency room, which is 10 times the cost. Who pays? Those of us with insurance. I went to the podiatrist last month for some foot pain. The total bill for an xray, 20 minutes of the doctors time and some shoe inserts cost $850. It doesn't take a genius to see that there is a lot more rolled into that bill than the care I received. You and I are ALREADY paying for the uninsured every time we pay a premium; we pay again every time our premiums go up. And our premiums will continue to go up. The price of insurance premiums is rising much faster than wages, and there is no end in sight.
In America, we believe that we all deserve equal protection from crime and fire. The police and the firemen should respond to you just as fast as they respond to Donald Trump, right? We believe that the poor have the same right to clean water and safe roads as the rich. We even pass laws guaranteeing that everyone have affordable access to cable TV! But in this the greatest nation on earth, a country as well off, as caring, as Christian, as the United States of America, it is unacceptable that our politicians would say that we can have equal rights in so many things but if I want the same coverage as them, then I'm a socialist.
There! I got that off my chest. Let me know if anything I said changed your opinion on the subject!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
New York
Me and Samantha spent 3 days in NYC last week. We crammed as much as we could into the time we were there and the highlight of the trip was spending quality time with my 19 year old daughter. Here are some other the highlights.
...had a cabbie that rolled down his window to yell at people...saw Paul McCartney sing on top of the Ed Sullivan theater...Ellis Island...Apollo Theater...bought a hot dog from a street vendor...saw homeless building forts in doorways at night...Museum of Natural History...Times Square...Stautue of Liberty...Ground Zero...Century 21...followed the crowd through intersections against the light...Wicked...top of the Empire State Building...subways...patio cafe's...Chinatown...Dakota...Central Park...Mama Mia...Brooklyn Bridge..bought a purse from a street vendor...Metropolitan Museum of Art...Grants Tomb...Columbia University...Carnegie Hall...United Nations...Wall Street...
New York is incredible. We enjoyed it all and would like to go back. When you travel you can't help but compare where you are to where you are from. You compare the people, the prices, the weather, the culture, the entertainment, etc.
We both received an additional bonus from this trip by realizing that Colorado is an INCREDIBLE place to live. It's good to be home. (but we can't wait to go again!)
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