Remember Me?

I write this stuff not just to give some stories to my kids that they may enjoy one day, but so that I can write my history the way I see it. These are my stories and I can portray myself with any heroic or humorous details that may or may not have actually happened. My thanks go to Todd and Troy who witnessed the following events and recently reminded me of them.

The Hurricane High track team was participating in the Manti Invitational in May of 1979. A couple dozen small schools from around the state were there and between events me and some friends were hanging out on the pole vault mats with some kids from other schools. Boyd Prince was the long distance star of our squad and even as a sophomore that year he was setting school records that stood for a couple decades. At some point Boyd started rough housing with this bigger kid from Nephi named Kim J.(I'm not including his last name because I don't want him reading this) I don't remember exactly how it started but I'm certain it was instigated by Boyd. As friendly as he was, he was also the kind of guy who would laugh at a speech impediment or mock someone's limp. Whatever had happened, Kim was pissed and was getting the better of Boyd with some sort of wrestling torture move.

If you can picture a pole vault mat, it's about the size of a three foot tall king mattress. There were two of these mats pushed together so that a deep crevasse formed between them. I don't know if any action on my part was really necessary. Boyd wasn't enjoying himself, but he wasn't injured and he wasn't asking for help. He may not have needed saving. Several of us were watching and saying, "That's enough, get off him." But I saw this superior, mocking grin on Kim's face and surprised myself by jumping on him without thinking it through. In a stroke of remarkable luck, I knocked him off of Boyd and onto his back - right on top of the crevasse. Our combined weight wedged him in and I saw a wonderful opportunity to avoid getting pummeled so I kept pushing him down until he disappeared. Keep in mind that these mats are strapped together and it was an extremely tight fit to stuff a body in there.

For the next two minutes, I played a very slow motion game of "whack-a-mole" as he tried to get out. He would manage to get an arm out and I would stuff it back in. A leg would pop up and again I would push it back down. His head was the scariest thing to escape because then I could hear the words he was screaming about what his plans were for me. It was not my intention to torture the guy but I didn't have a next move planned out. He was bigger and stronger and madder than me and I was starting to realize that this was not going to end well. A crowd started to gather and laugh which increased his humiliation and his fury. There was only one option. I pushed him down as far as I could...and I ran. I had about a 20 second lead and I ran to my coach and stood by him. Kim stood nearby and glared at me for about half an hour before he had to go compete. I surrounded myself with friends and coaches for the rest of the day and my life was spared.

Funny story, right? We laughed about it for a few months and then moved on. If nothing else had happened we probably would have forgotten the incident entirely. But that wasn't the end of the story....

Two years later (2 YEARS!) I left college for a weekend to travel to Delta to watch my brother Rick wrestle in the state tournament. Troy and Todd and I borrowed Rick's 1964 Mercury Comet and drove up to cheer him on. Between matches we decided to leave the gym and go look for somewhere to eat. We were in the car and I had just started the engine when Troy saw this bearded giant sprinting across the lawn towards us. "Do you know him?" Troy asked. Todd (who had been with me at the track meet) and I both recognized Kim J. even though he was 50 pounds and 6 inches bigger than he was two years ago. It was as if he'd been eating a bowl of steroids every morning and throwing knives at a target of my picture for two years. He was as mad as if he'd just now crawled from between those mats.

If I had been by myself I would have just floored the gas and peeled out of there. But I had friends with me who would probably repeat the story to my kids 30 years later so I had to act cool. Not brave...just cool. Self preservation came first so I realized that I should lock my door. So I casually slapped at where a door lock should be and found nothing. Rick's car had doors that looked like airplane wings when opened. They were long and the lock was waaaaay behind my shoulder.

The giant got closer.
I slapped for the lock.
"Who is he?" (Troy)
"Oh Crap" (Todd)

As his huge paw reached for the door handle, I stopped acting cool and lunged for my door lock just in time. Now that I was safe inside a few thousand pounds of steel I could pretend to be cool again. He was shaking the car and screaming curses at me and spit was literally hitting my window as he cursed. I had to say something to either:
a) apologize
b) calm him down
c) make my friends laugh

So I cracked the window open half an inch and said, "Remember me?"

This did not calm him. I realize that it was not a terribly witty thing to say. I'm typically much funnier than that but my mouth was dry and I was a little stunned at the situation and that is all I could come up with. Troy and Todd did laugh and this encouraged me to repeat it a couple more times.

I put the car in gear and slowly started coasting away as he kept his face at my window. "Do you remember those pole vault mats, Kim?" For some reason everytime I asked him this it seemed to make him angrier. Todd and Troy continued to giggle so I considered raising the stakes by pointing out to him that Kim was a girls name but I worried he would have turned the car over and crushed our skulls betweeen his fingers. I slowly (and cooly) drove off and kept asking him if he remembered me.

I am grateful to say that I have never seen him since. Not wanting to take any chances of running into the guy, I'm not planning on moving back to Utah until I read his obituary. You can't be too careful when someone considers you their mortal enemy!

Do you still remember me, Kim?