Really Very Stupid Things

The following incidents may or may not have happened but I will not admit to doing any of them.

tubing with no life jacket in a flood swollen river, contest to see who could hold a lit firecracker the longest, playing chicken head-on on bikes to see who would swerve first, tying brother backwards to a tricycle and pushing him down a hill, poking jailed drunks with a sharp stick, rolling bowling balls down the highway at 60 miles an hour, walking across steel beams 8 stories high, tubing down hill with barbed wire fence at the bottom, tying brother upside down in a tree, waking up at 70 miles an hour and 70 feet off the freeway, trying to knock each other off speeding snowmobiles, teach brother to yell "jack ass" at the mean neighbor lady, cementing the neighbors doors and windows shut, spending two hours at the top of a tree while the girl that someone called a cow tries to knock you down with rocks, folding my brother into a sleeper sofa, launching bottle rockets from the car, streaking, contest to see who could hold onto electric fence the longest, throwing knives at brothers feet, reasoning that the lakes thin ice will hold if you just drive snowmobile fast enough, getting into a car with drunk hillbillies, bb gun wars, jumping bikes over friends laying lengthwise, jousting from bikes, riding on the hood of a car, riding on the highway on the top of a tall stack of hay bails in the back of a truck, training to be a stuntman by jumping out of a moving car, laughing while drill sergeant screams in your face, breaking into vacant apartments to sleep and shower, slowing down but not stopping the car when dropping brother off, contest to see who can pass the most motorhomes on bike going down mountain switchbacks, pushing fully clothed bully into swimming pool, stopping fan blade with tongue, rock fights, running through pitch black mile long tunnel with just a stick to guide you, competing in triathlons without learning to swim, car races, sleeping in cemetary, blindfolded boxing, shooting arrow straight up and dodging its return, trying to outrun a cop, blowing things up in a variety of ways, sleeping under a hedge in downtown Los Angeles, making drill sergeant remember your name by pissing him off on the 1st day of boot camp, hitchhiking at 14, wandering through a bronx ghetto at midnight, getting a ride to California with crazy man who claims to be a hit man on assignment, sleeping under freeway over passes, misreading arrival time as departure time for family trip, packing remote control instead of camera for birth of child, publishing list of really very stupid things that I may or may not have done.