I had a conversation with an old friend recently and she reminded of the time I punched a guy in the face who had attempted to grope her. It was over 30 years ago and I had nearly forgotten about it but it stuck with her because it was the only time someone had ever used violence to defend her. I typically think of myself as more of a "live and let live" pacifist who sees the wisdom in walking away from a fight, but I have to admit that there is something gratifying in being remembered as a sort of Clint Eastwood defender of women!
That got me remembering even further back when fist fights were a normal part of my life when I was 12 years old. We lived on the Ft. Hall Indian Reservation in Idaho at that time. I don't know if fights were a normal part of the culture or if the Indian kids always beat up the white kids or if I was just there during a bad year but I was getting my butt kicked at least weekly. The first time it happens to you is shocking and terrifying. I didn't know what I had done to piss this guy off and when I realized that an adult wasn't going to step in and save me, I basically just tried to cover my face and begged him to stop as I got pummeled. I also wasn't aware of the playground code of no tattling and went straight to a teacher with my story. The bully was punished but the next day on the playground, so was I. I still didn't fight back and the best strategy I could come up with was to stay in the classroom during recess, but this just meant they waited for me after school. I started faking sick to avoid school and my parents got involved and we had a meeting with the principal.
Mr. Broadhead heard my story and he sympathized but at some point he looked at me and said, "You have to fight back, Jim. They'll stop coming after you if they know you can hurt them." I can't imagine an elementary school principal telling a student that today but this was 1972 and it was some of the best advice I ever received. I started taking a few swings and would connect once in awhile, but it was a month or so before I got an official "win". Robert Blackfoot punched me right in the nose and I was losing blood through both nostrils. I managed to take the fight to the ground and get on top of him but I had to hang on with both arms so I couldn't really hit him. I did manage to get in a few head butts that didn't do any real damage but the whole time I had him down, I was bleeding all over him. A lot. His face and shirt were covered in blood...my blood. When a teacher finally pulled us both up by our collars, the crowd saw a little bit of blood under my nose, but Robert was a red gooey mess! I heard the impressed gasps from everyone as we were hauled into Mr. Broadhead's office. He chewed us both out but then held me back and smiled and congratualted me. He predicted that they would start leaving me alone now.
That wasn't entirely true, but the rumor did circulate that I had nearly killed Robby Blackfoot and I did get picked on a lot less. I still had to fight occasionally and I learned that if you were fighting fair then you weren't trying very hard. My specialties were the throat punch, the eye gouge, and using my elbows as weapons. Not exactly heroic type of fighting but the object was to hurt him as quickly as possible to stop the fight before getting hurt yourself.
Fortunately, my new skills were seldom used in the past 37 years and I hope I never find myself in a situation again where a head butt is necessary. But I hope I always remember Mr. Broadhead's very good advice. Sometimes "You have to fight back."
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Beyond the Canyon Walls
At 21 I decided I was going to hitch hike around the country, and as you can imagine, this was not a popular decision with my parents. They pointed out the dangers and made me feel guilty about how much my mother would worry.
I did it anyway.
My mother said many, many prayers for me and perhaps that's why I came back safe with many stories (mostly true) about my grand adventure. But when I came back she said something that most parents say to their children that has turned out to be a curse. She said, "One day I hope your son does the same thing so that you will know how it feels."
Tomorrow, I will know what she felt but the child to fulfill this prophesy is my daughter. My Baby Girl. My Tom Boy Princess. My Little Wildflower. My 20 year old "Not a child, not quite an adult" beautiful, good hearted, hippie child.
Tomorrow she will put on a backpack and head out to explore the American West with her best friend Katie. I don't know if they'll exactly be dancing with wolves but they plan on living pretty primitively to accomodate their nearly empty budget.
Threats, logic, bribery, and promises have not dissuaded her. So as she's awed by the grandeur of the Tetons, I will be vistited by my Mother's worry from 27 years ago. As she is inspired by the beauty of Yellowstone, I'll make sure my cell phone is always charged and my gas tank is full in case she is in need of rescuing. As she is trying to stay dry and warm in her tent in Oregon, I'll be watching the weather channel at 2am. As she explores the Redwood's, San Francisco, Yosemite, Zion, Bryce, and the SoCal beaches, she'll be wearing my old Army dogtags as a talisman. But if that's not enough to protect her, I'll be relying on the kindness of strangers if my little girl needs help.
Which brings me to my next point... if any of my friends who live near any of those places have a spot on the couch and can pick up a couple of cold, hungry girls if they need it...drop me a line and let me know if I can give them your phone number. I'll owe you!
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome,dangerous, leading to the most awesome view.May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and
castles and poets' towers into a dark primeval forest
where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient
unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled
cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches,
where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the
high crags, where something strange and more beautiful
and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams wait
for you - beyond the next turning of the canyon walls.
- Edward Abbey
I did it anyway.
My mother said many, many prayers for me and perhaps that's why I came back safe with many stories (mostly true) about my grand adventure. But when I came back she said something that most parents say to their children that has turned out to be a curse. She said, "One day I hope your son does the same thing so that you will know how it feels."
Tomorrow, I will know what she felt but the child to fulfill this prophesy is my daughter. My Baby Girl. My Tom Boy Princess. My Little Wildflower. My 20 year old "Not a child, not quite an adult" beautiful, good hearted, hippie child.
Tomorrow she will put on a backpack and head out to explore the American West with her best friend Katie. I don't know if they'll exactly be dancing with wolves but they plan on living pretty primitively to accomodate their nearly empty budget.
Threats, logic, bribery, and promises have not dissuaded her. So as she's awed by the grandeur of the Tetons, I will be vistited by my Mother's worry from 27 years ago. As she is inspired by the beauty of Yellowstone, I'll make sure my cell phone is always charged and my gas tank is full in case she is in need of rescuing. As she is trying to stay dry and warm in her tent in Oregon, I'll be watching the weather channel at 2am. As she explores the Redwood's, San Francisco, Yosemite, Zion, Bryce, and the SoCal beaches, she'll be wearing my old Army dogtags as a talisman. But if that's not enough to protect her, I'll be relying on the kindness of strangers if my little girl needs help.
Which brings me to my next point... if any of my friends who live near any of those places have a spot on the couch and can pick up a couple of cold, hungry girls if they need it...drop me a line and let me know if I can give them your phone number. I'll owe you!
May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome,dangerous, leading to the most awesome view.May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and
castles and poets' towers into a dark primeval forest
where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone, and down again into a deep vast ancient
unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled
cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches,
where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the
high crags, where something strange and more beautiful
and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams wait
for you - beyond the next turning of the canyon walls.
- Edward Abbey
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Best Father's Day Gift
Father's Day presents come and go and I don't really remember most of the gifts that I have received over the years. There is one in particular though that the kids gave me (Jonah claims it was him) that stands out because it has had a lot of use.
They gave me a Leki collapsible walking stick about 10 years ago and I've used it for several hundred miles and I climbed 16 peaks of over 14,000 feet and several smaller ones. It's saved a lot of wear on my bad knee and last month it may have saved my life.
During our recent backpacking trip, we ended up hiking in two groups with the faster hikers in front. I was visiting with the back group and left them to catch up to my kids in the front so I was temporarily hiking alone. The two foot wide trail had risen to about 70 feet above the river when I just stepped off. I didn't stumble or trip and the trail didn't collapse. My left foot just stepped completely off the ledge. I threw myself to the right and my trusty Leki walking pole held my weight (and 30 pounds of pack) for about 2 seconds before it snapped in two and my face hit the trail. But those 2 seconds bought me enough time to stabalize most of my weight on level ground as my legs hung down. I had a banged up face and a broken pole but was otherwise OK.
Best gift ever, kids...but, uh...can I please get another?
They gave me a Leki collapsible walking stick about 10 years ago and I've used it for several hundred miles and I climbed 16 peaks of over 14,000 feet and several smaller ones. It's saved a lot of wear on my bad knee and last month it may have saved my life.
During our recent backpacking trip, we ended up hiking in two groups with the faster hikers in front. I was visiting with the back group and left them to catch up to my kids in the front so I was temporarily hiking alone. The two foot wide trail had risen to about 70 feet above the river when I just stepped off. I didn't stumble or trip and the trail didn't collapse. My left foot just stepped completely off the ledge. I threw myself to the right and my trusty Leki walking pole held my weight (and 30 pounds of pack) for about 2 seconds before it snapped in two and my face hit the trail. But those 2 seconds bought me enough time to stabalize most of my weight on level ground as my legs hung down. I had a banged up face and a broken pole but was otherwise OK.
Best gift ever, kids...but, uh...can I please get another?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Backpacking
"Our way is not soft grass, it's a mountain path with lots of rocks. But it goes upward, forward, toward the sun."
- Ruth Westheimer
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like falling leaves."
- John Muir
I used to backpack all of the time. I lived in one of the most beautiful places on earth and I explored quite a bit of it. Most of the time I went with friends, but when they weren't available I went by myself. It's hard to describe what the appeal is in putting everything you need to survive and be comfortable on your back and hike into the wilderness. But it's not comfortable. You sleep on the ground, you eat on a log, you squat in the bushes, and you are too cold or too hot. But....still...there is something about it that recharges the batteries. You get multiple doses of appreciation. You appreciate that you live in a place where wild things still exist. You appreciate that you have the health to hike and explore. You appreciate what our ancestors went through every day just to live. You appreciate the simplicity to just concentrate on staying warm and fed. And the when you get home...you appreciate modern society. A warm bed, a flushing toilet, a microwave, a chair with a back! I can rejoice in a hot shower for months after a good backpacking trip!
I just got back from a few days in the Manti-LaSal National Forest in Utah. I went with old friends (the best kind) and some of our kids. Me, Todd, Troy, Samantha, Katie, Jonah, Chelsea, Jake, Peter, Seth and Bogie hiked a few miles up a beautiful stream and found a campsite created just for us. We set up 6 tents and a hammock, a kitchen, a firepit, a hacky sack arena, a sink, and a bathroom and forced our children to listen to stories they've already heard a dozen times. They were very patient and laughed at all of the right parts and promised not to tell their mothers.
I think we are going to make this an annual tradition. Back to nature for 3 days and a renewed appreciation for civilization for the other 362!
You are invited.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
50 Movies
Humans tell stories. We love stories. Cave paintings prove that we've always loved stories. Children crave stories and my own kids would make them up themselves if I wasn't around to tell them one.
I recently wrote about how our celebrations and cermonies create societal and cultural bonding. Perhaps this is even more true of our stories. We can describe somone's Achilles heal and everyone who knows the story of Achilles will know that this person has a hidden weakness. We can compare someone to Han Solo and we all know that he is a rogue with a good heart. If I describe someone as a Good Samaritan, you know that I mean she is kind and willing to help. Our stories bring us together.
Todays stories are told at the movies. At many points in our lives we are asked about favorite movies. People may be genuinely interested in the answer or we may just be looking for a good conversation starter. My problem is that although I do have favorites, I usually draw a blank when I'm asked. I've already made a list of some of my favorite quotes and now I've compiled a list of my favorite movies. You may or may not care, but as my memory starts to falter, I'm actually making the list for myself.
Some of these movies were critically praised, some might be critically condemned. Here they are in alphabetical order.
3:10 To Yuma (classic western with the good guy doing the right thing)
A Christmas Story (still makes me laugh)
Alien (my first really scary movie)
Anchorman (so funny!)
Armeggedon (silly world saving fun with a great sound track)
Band of Brothers (really a mini-series but the best war story I've seen)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (childhood memories of play acting the movie for weeks after I saw it)
Cast Away (triumph of human spirit...my favorite theme)
Cool Hand Luke (Paul Newman was the coolest)
Dead Poets Society (Seize the Day!)
Family Man (rediscovering what's important)
Field of Dreams (maybe it's a guy thing)
Forest Gump (who doesn't like Forest Gump?)
Fried Green Tomatos (this one's a chick flick...shhhhh....)
Gladiator (warrior saves the Roman Empire)
Glory (I know, I know, war = bad, but war movies = good)
Office Space (For everyone who's ever worked in an office)
Groundhog Day (great movie that I hear references to constantly)
Hoosiers (guys love a good underdog sports movie)
How the West Was Won (for some reason it made a big impression on me when I was a kid)
Independence Day (Humanity unites!)
It's a Wonderful Life (do I even have to explain?)
Lars and the Real Girl (the premise is too weird to explain and why I like it is too long to explain)
Leaving Las Vegas (we're all a little broken)
Life is Beautiful (a fathers love for his son)
Little Miss Sunshine (flawed family pulls together for the little girl)
Lion King (Disneys best)
Lord of the Rings (great adaptation of a favorite book)
Matrix (would you take the blue pill or the red pill?)
Million Dollar Baby (sports movie with a female lead)
Off the Map (you've definitely never heard of it but check it out)
Oh Brother Where Art Thou (funny, funny with awesome soundtrack)
Planes Trains and Automobiles (totally stupid and I can still laugh just thinking about it)
Planet of The Apes (I LOVED these movies as a kid)
The Postman (I amy be the only person that liked this movie)
Princess Bride (a much better book but a great movie anyway)
Rocky (just a few seconds of the song still inspires me)
Roots (another mini-series but it started me on a life long hobby)
Animal House (again...it's a guy thing)
Saving Private Ryan (second best war story ever)
Schindlers List (This awful story was told so well, I felt physically ill)
Spanglish (I can't explain it but it struck a chord in me)
Shawshank Redemption (on a lot of favorite lists and near the top of mine)
Star Wars (come on! This has got to be on everyones list!)
That Thing You Do
Tropic Thunder (funny, funny, funny, funny, funny)
Truman Show (I like Jim Carreys and Adam Sandlers serious stuff better than I like their comedies)
Unforgiven (much more than just a western, it shows that the lines are blurred between the good guys and bad guys)
Up and Wall E (combined my favorite Pixar films)
Wizard of Oz (I may have seen at least parts of it 50 times)
So there they are. I've limited the list to 50 so I'll probably come back to it and kick some off as I add new candidates. Some of these movies are similar and some are nothing alike but they are all on the list because they told a story I liked. Am I missing anything that I should reconsider?
I recently wrote about how our celebrations and cermonies create societal and cultural bonding. Perhaps this is even more true of our stories. We can describe somone's Achilles heal and everyone who knows the story of Achilles will know that this person has a hidden weakness. We can compare someone to Han Solo and we all know that he is a rogue with a good heart. If I describe someone as a Good Samaritan, you know that I mean she is kind and willing to help. Our stories bring us together.
Todays stories are told at the movies. At many points in our lives we are asked about favorite movies. People may be genuinely interested in the answer or we may just be looking for a good conversation starter. My problem is that although I do have favorites, I usually draw a blank when I'm asked. I've already made a list of some of my favorite quotes and now I've compiled a list of my favorite movies. You may or may not care, but as my memory starts to falter, I'm actually making the list for myself.
Some of these movies were critically praised, some might be critically condemned. Here they are in alphabetical order.
3:10 To Yuma (classic western with the good guy doing the right thing)
A Christmas Story (still makes me laugh)
Alien (my first really scary movie)
Anchorman (so funny!)
Armeggedon (silly world saving fun with a great sound track)
Band of Brothers (really a mini-series but the best war story I've seen)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (childhood memories of play acting the movie for weeks after I saw it)
Cast Away (triumph of human spirit...my favorite theme)
Cool Hand Luke (Paul Newman was the coolest)
Dead Poets Society (Seize the Day!)
Family Man (rediscovering what's important)
Field of Dreams (maybe it's a guy thing)
Forest Gump (who doesn't like Forest Gump?)
Fried Green Tomatos (this one's a chick flick...shhhhh....)
Gladiator (warrior saves the Roman Empire)
Glory (I know, I know, war = bad, but war movies = good)
Office Space (For everyone who's ever worked in an office)
Groundhog Day (great movie that I hear references to constantly)
Hoosiers (guys love a good underdog sports movie)
How the West Was Won (for some reason it made a big impression on me when I was a kid)
Independence Day (Humanity unites!)
It's a Wonderful Life (do I even have to explain?)
Lars and the Real Girl (the premise is too weird to explain and why I like it is too long to explain)
Leaving Las Vegas (we're all a little broken)
Life is Beautiful (a fathers love for his son)
Little Miss Sunshine (flawed family pulls together for the little girl)
Lion King (Disneys best)
Lord of the Rings (great adaptation of a favorite book)
Matrix (would you take the blue pill or the red pill?)
Million Dollar Baby (sports movie with a female lead)
Off the Map (you've definitely never heard of it but check it out)
Oh Brother Where Art Thou (funny, funny with awesome soundtrack)
Planes Trains and Automobiles (totally stupid and I can still laugh just thinking about it)
Planet of The Apes (I LOVED these movies as a kid)
The Postman (I amy be the only person that liked this movie)
Princess Bride (a much better book but a great movie anyway)
Rocky (just a few seconds of the song still inspires me)
Roots (another mini-series but it started me on a life long hobby)
Animal House (again...it's a guy thing)
Saving Private Ryan (second best war story ever)
Schindlers List (This awful story was told so well, I felt physically ill)
Spanglish (I can't explain it but it struck a chord in me)
Shawshank Redemption (on a lot of favorite lists and near the top of mine)
Star Wars (come on! This has got to be on everyones list!)
That Thing You Do
Tropic Thunder (funny, funny, funny, funny, funny)
Truman Show (I like Jim Carreys and Adam Sandlers serious stuff better than I like their comedies)
Unforgiven (much more than just a western, it shows that the lines are blurred between the good guys and bad guys)
Up and Wall E (combined my favorite Pixar films)
Wizard of Oz (I may have seen at least parts of it 50 times)
So there they are. I've limited the list to 50 so I'll probably come back to it and kick some off as I add new candidates. Some of these movies are similar and some are nothing alike but they are all on the list because they told a story I liked. Am I missing anything that I should reconsider?
Friday, June 18, 2010
Remember Me?
I write this stuff not just to give some stories to my kids that they may enjoy one day, but so that I can write my history the way I see it. These are my stories and I can portray myself with any heroic or humorous details that may or may not have actually happened. My thanks go to Todd and Troy who witnessed the following events and recently reminded me of them.
The Hurricane High track team was participating in the Manti Invitational in May of 1979. A couple dozen small schools from around the state were there and between events me and some friends were hanging out on the pole vault mats with some kids from other schools. Boyd Prince was the long distance star of our squad and even as a sophomore that year he was setting school records that stood for a couple decades. At some point Boyd started rough housing with this bigger kid from Nephi named Kim J.(I'm not including his last name because I don't want him reading this) I don't remember exactly how it started but I'm certain it was instigated by Boyd. As friendly as he was, he was also the kind of guy who would laugh at a speech impediment or mock someone's limp. Whatever had happened, Kim was pissed and was getting the better of Boyd with some sort of wrestling torture move.
If you can picture a pole vault mat, it's about the size of a three foot tall king mattress. There were two of these mats pushed together so that a deep crevasse formed between them. I don't know if any action on my part was really necessary. Boyd wasn't enjoying himself, but he wasn't injured and he wasn't asking for help. He may not have needed saving. Several of us were watching and saying, "That's enough, get off him." But I saw this superior, mocking grin on Kim's face and surprised myself by jumping on him without thinking it through. In a stroke of remarkable luck, I knocked him off of Boyd and onto his back - right on top of the crevasse. Our combined weight wedged him in and I saw a wonderful opportunity to avoid getting pummeled so I kept pushing him down until he disappeared. Keep in mind that these mats are strapped together and it was an extremely tight fit to stuff a body in there.
For the next two minutes, I played a very slow motion game of "whack-a-mole" as he tried to get out. He would manage to get an arm out and I would stuff it back in. A leg would pop up and again I would push it back down. His head was the scariest thing to escape because then I could hear the words he was screaming about what his plans were for me. It was not my intention to torture the guy but I didn't have a next move planned out. He was bigger and stronger and madder than me and I was starting to realize that this was not going to end well. A crowd started to gather and laugh which increased his humiliation and his fury. There was only one option. I pushed him down as far as I could...and I ran. I had about a 20 second lead and I ran to my coach and stood by him. Kim stood nearby and glared at me for about half an hour before he had to go compete. I surrounded myself with friends and coaches for the rest of the day and my life was spared.
Funny story, right? We laughed about it for a few months and then moved on. If nothing else had happened we probably would have forgotten the incident entirely. But that wasn't the end of the story....
Two years later (2 YEARS!) I left college for a weekend to travel to Delta to watch my brother Rick wrestle in the state tournament. Troy and Todd and I borrowed Rick's 1964 Mercury Comet and drove up to cheer him on. Between matches we decided to leave the gym and go look for somewhere to eat. We were in the car and I had just started the engine when Troy saw this bearded giant sprinting across the lawn towards us. "Do you know him?" Troy asked. Todd (who had been with me at the track meet) and I both recognized Kim J. even though he was 50 pounds and 6 inches bigger than he was two years ago. It was as if he'd been eating a bowl of steroids every morning and throwing knives at a target of my picture for two years. He was as mad as if he'd just now crawled from between those mats.
If I had been by myself I would have just floored the gas and peeled out of there. But I had friends with me who would probably repeat the story to my kids 30 years later so I had to act cool. Not brave...just cool. Self preservation came first so I realized that I should lock my door. So I casually slapped at where a door lock should be and found nothing. Rick's car had doors that looked like airplane wings when opened. They were long and the lock was waaaaay behind my shoulder.
The giant got closer.
I slapped for the lock.
"Who is he?" (Troy)
"Oh Crap" (Todd)
As his huge paw reached for the door handle, I stopped acting cool and lunged for my door lock just in time. Now that I was safe inside a few thousand pounds of steel I could pretend to be cool again. He was shaking the car and screaming curses at me and spit was literally hitting my window as he cursed. I had to say something to either:
a) apologize
b) calm him down
c) make my friends laugh
So I cracked the window open half an inch and said, "Remember me?"
This did not calm him. I realize that it was not a terribly witty thing to say. I'm typically much funnier than that but my mouth was dry and I was a little stunned at the situation and that is all I could come up with. Troy and Todd did laugh and this encouraged me to repeat it a couple more times.
I put the car in gear and slowly started coasting away as he kept his face at my window. "Do you remember those pole vault mats, Kim?" For some reason everytime I asked him this it seemed to make him angrier. Todd and Troy continued to giggle so I considered raising the stakes by pointing out to him that Kim was a girls name but I worried he would have turned the car over and crushed our skulls betweeen his fingers. I slowly (and cooly) drove off and kept asking him if he remembered me.
I am grateful to say that I have never seen him since. Not wanting to take any chances of running into the guy, I'm not planning on moving back to Utah until I read his obituary. You can't be too careful when someone considers you their mortal enemy!
Do you still remember me, Kim?
The Hurricane High track team was participating in the Manti Invitational in May of 1979. A couple dozen small schools from around the state were there and between events me and some friends were hanging out on the pole vault mats with some kids from other schools. Boyd Prince was the long distance star of our squad and even as a sophomore that year he was setting school records that stood for a couple decades. At some point Boyd started rough housing with this bigger kid from Nephi named Kim J.(I'm not including his last name because I don't want him reading this) I don't remember exactly how it started but I'm certain it was instigated by Boyd. As friendly as he was, he was also the kind of guy who would laugh at a speech impediment or mock someone's limp. Whatever had happened, Kim was pissed and was getting the better of Boyd with some sort of wrestling torture move.
If you can picture a pole vault mat, it's about the size of a three foot tall king mattress. There were two of these mats pushed together so that a deep crevasse formed between them. I don't know if any action on my part was really necessary. Boyd wasn't enjoying himself, but he wasn't injured and he wasn't asking for help. He may not have needed saving. Several of us were watching and saying, "That's enough, get off him." But I saw this superior, mocking grin on Kim's face and surprised myself by jumping on him without thinking it through. In a stroke of remarkable luck, I knocked him off of Boyd and onto his back - right on top of the crevasse. Our combined weight wedged him in and I saw a wonderful opportunity to avoid getting pummeled so I kept pushing him down until he disappeared. Keep in mind that these mats are strapped together and it was an extremely tight fit to stuff a body in there.
For the next two minutes, I played a very slow motion game of "whack-a-mole" as he tried to get out. He would manage to get an arm out and I would stuff it back in. A leg would pop up and again I would push it back down. His head was the scariest thing to escape because then I could hear the words he was screaming about what his plans were for me. It was not my intention to torture the guy but I didn't have a next move planned out. He was bigger and stronger and madder than me and I was starting to realize that this was not going to end well. A crowd started to gather and laugh which increased his humiliation and his fury. There was only one option. I pushed him down as far as I could...and I ran. I had about a 20 second lead and I ran to my coach and stood by him. Kim stood nearby and glared at me for about half an hour before he had to go compete. I surrounded myself with friends and coaches for the rest of the day and my life was spared.
Funny story, right? We laughed about it for a few months and then moved on. If nothing else had happened we probably would have forgotten the incident entirely. But that wasn't the end of the story....
Two years later (2 YEARS!) I left college for a weekend to travel to Delta to watch my brother Rick wrestle in the state tournament. Troy and Todd and I borrowed Rick's 1964 Mercury Comet and drove up to cheer him on. Between matches we decided to leave the gym and go look for somewhere to eat. We were in the car and I had just started the engine when Troy saw this bearded giant sprinting across the lawn towards us. "Do you know him?" Troy asked. Todd (who had been with me at the track meet) and I both recognized Kim J. even though he was 50 pounds and 6 inches bigger than he was two years ago. It was as if he'd been eating a bowl of steroids every morning and throwing knives at a target of my picture for two years. He was as mad as if he'd just now crawled from between those mats.
If I had been by myself I would have just floored the gas and peeled out of there. But I had friends with me who would probably repeat the story to my kids 30 years later so I had to act cool. Not brave...just cool. Self preservation came first so I realized that I should lock my door. So I casually slapped at where a door lock should be and found nothing. Rick's car had doors that looked like airplane wings when opened. They were long and the lock was waaaaay behind my shoulder.
The giant got closer.
I slapped for the lock.
"Who is he?" (Troy)
"Oh Crap" (Todd)
As his huge paw reached for the door handle, I stopped acting cool and lunged for my door lock just in time. Now that I was safe inside a few thousand pounds of steel I could pretend to be cool again. He was shaking the car and screaming curses at me and spit was literally hitting my window as he cursed. I had to say something to either:
a) apologize
b) calm him down
c) make my friends laugh
So I cracked the window open half an inch and said, "Remember me?"
This did not calm him. I realize that it was not a terribly witty thing to say. I'm typically much funnier than that but my mouth was dry and I was a little stunned at the situation and that is all I could come up with. Troy and Todd did laugh and this encouraged me to repeat it a couple more times.
I put the car in gear and slowly started coasting away as he kept his face at my window. "Do you remember those pole vault mats, Kim?" For some reason everytime I asked him this it seemed to make him angrier. Todd and Troy continued to giggle so I considered raising the stakes by pointing out to him that Kim was a girls name but I worried he would have turned the car over and crushed our skulls betweeen his fingers. I slowly (and cooly) drove off and kept asking him if he remembered me.
I am grateful to say that I have never seen him since. Not wanting to take any chances of running into the guy, I'm not planning on moving back to Utah until I read his obituary. You can't be too careful when someone considers you their mortal enemy!
Do you still remember me, Kim?
Monday, June 7, 2010
10,000 Days
The best evidence that I should have majored in history instead of finance comes from the fact that I can't remember anything that I learned from my finance classes. I was usually daydreaming or counting my imaginary money. (I still spend way too much time counting imaginary money)
During one particularly boring financial theory class I came up with an entire new way to celebrate lifes milestones. I came up with a brand new ritual that would be celebrated around the globe. I've long since lost the notes I made on my idea, but it involved celebrations, gift giving, Hallmark cards, speeches, family gatherings...the works. I was trying to figure out how I could profit from the idea so I ran it by my dull minded friends (you know who you are). Sadly I was discouraged with theirs yawns and shrugs, so another brilliant idea withered and died from the lack of effort.
The rituals of our lives may seem unnecessary but they are a feature of almost all known human societies, past or present. A ritual is a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value. They may be performed on special occasions by a single individual, by a group, or by the entire community. Alongside the personal dimensions of rituals, they also have the important function of reinforcing the shared values and beliefs of a society. We use them to create social bonds. They include not only the various worship rites of organized religions, but also the rites of passsage in our lives such as marriages, graduations, funerals and even birthday parties.
While the actual passages of life may follow in consequential order, birth, adolescence, graduation, marriage, retirement, death...the actual lives we live are seldom so orderly. A ceremony that marks a life passage gives us a chance to pause, to reflect on the past and dream of the future. It gives us a chance to pay attention to our lives and to note our existence. By paying attention to our existence we sanctify it. We ask "Who am I? What am I doing here?" We connect ourselves to previous generations and to the generations that follow.
OK, so here's the basic premise of my 25 year old great idea. Our lives are divided into many stages but I condensed them into three sections of 10,000 days called Life Days. 10,000 is a big, impressive, round number that carries the weight of importance and rarity(10,000 days is about 27 and a half years). These 10,000 day milestones would be so globally important that everyone would know the three dates that celebrate their life. A baby would leave the hospital with a name, a birthday, and his three life days. The celebrations marking your life day are much bigger than birthdays or even graduations. They are as important as weddings and involve invitations and speeches and gifts and toasts and dancing.
The first third of your life is called "Becoming". This is obviously the period when you become who you are and by your 10,000th day you are pretty much the person you are going to be. You develop your skills and talents and your fears and phobias. You become educated and choose career paths. You often choose a mate and become a parent. You dream and hope and know that you have your whole life ahead of you.
The second phase, I called "Achieving". This is the responsible, productive, middle of your life. You work, produce, provide, and accomplish the goals you established in your younger stage. The younger and older generations both count on you.
The last 10,000 days start when you are about 55 and is called "Reflecting". You still have a lot of work ahead of you but the kids have moved out and the promotions at work seem less important and you are starting to coast. You are exploring your spirituality and hopefully enjoying the life you've built.
At 82, there is a major celebration of your life. You've reached 30,000 days! There is a major celebration of a life well lived. People make the speeches that they were saving for your funeral but should be told while you could hear and appreciate them. You live the remainder of your "bonus days" as a respected elder and enjoy the years you have left.
What do you think? Do we need another reason to celebrate? Will it catch on? Is it stupid? If I send my idea to Hallmark will I get a cut of the card sales?
Here are my Life Days:
I was 10,000 days on January 18, 1989
I will be 20,000 days on June 5th, 2016
I will be 30,000 days on October 22, 2043
Go to www.daysalive.com to figure out your own milestones. And make sure I get an invitation to your celebration!!
During one particularly boring financial theory class I came up with an entire new way to celebrate lifes milestones. I came up with a brand new ritual that would be celebrated around the globe. I've long since lost the notes I made on my idea, but it involved celebrations, gift giving, Hallmark cards, speeches, family gatherings...the works. I was trying to figure out how I could profit from the idea so I ran it by my dull minded friends (you know who you are). Sadly I was discouraged with theirs yawns and shrugs, so another brilliant idea withered and died from the lack of effort.
The rituals of our lives may seem unnecessary but they are a feature of almost all known human societies, past or present. A ritual is a set of actions, performed mainly for their symbolic value. They may be performed on special occasions by a single individual, by a group, or by the entire community. Alongside the personal dimensions of rituals, they also have the important function of reinforcing the shared values and beliefs of a society. We use them to create social bonds. They include not only the various worship rites of organized religions, but also the rites of passsage in our lives such as marriages, graduations, funerals and even birthday parties.
While the actual passages of life may follow in consequential order, birth, adolescence, graduation, marriage, retirement, death...the actual lives we live are seldom so orderly. A ceremony that marks a life passage gives us a chance to pause, to reflect on the past and dream of the future. It gives us a chance to pay attention to our lives and to note our existence. By paying attention to our existence we sanctify it. We ask "Who am I? What am I doing here?" We connect ourselves to previous generations and to the generations that follow.
OK, so here's the basic premise of my 25 year old great idea. Our lives are divided into many stages but I condensed them into three sections of 10,000 days called Life Days. 10,000 is a big, impressive, round number that carries the weight of importance and rarity(10,000 days is about 27 and a half years). These 10,000 day milestones would be so globally important that everyone would know the three dates that celebrate their life. A baby would leave the hospital with a name, a birthday, and his three life days. The celebrations marking your life day are much bigger than birthdays or even graduations. They are as important as weddings and involve invitations and speeches and gifts and toasts and dancing.
The first third of your life is called "Becoming". This is obviously the period when you become who you are and by your 10,000th day you are pretty much the person you are going to be. You develop your skills and talents and your fears and phobias. You become educated and choose career paths. You often choose a mate and become a parent. You dream and hope and know that you have your whole life ahead of you.
The second phase, I called "Achieving". This is the responsible, productive, middle of your life. You work, produce, provide, and accomplish the goals you established in your younger stage. The younger and older generations both count on you.
The last 10,000 days start when you are about 55 and is called "Reflecting". You still have a lot of work ahead of you but the kids have moved out and the promotions at work seem less important and you are starting to coast. You are exploring your spirituality and hopefully enjoying the life you've built.
At 82, there is a major celebration of your life. You've reached 30,000 days! There is a major celebration of a life well lived. People make the speeches that they were saving for your funeral but should be told while you could hear and appreciate them. You live the remainder of your "bonus days" as a respected elder and enjoy the years you have left.
What do you think? Do we need another reason to celebrate? Will it catch on? Is it stupid? If I send my idea to Hallmark will I get a cut of the card sales?
Here are my Life Days:
I was 10,000 days on January 18, 1989
I will be 20,000 days on June 5th, 2016
I will be 30,000 days on October 22, 2043
Go to www.daysalive.com to figure out your own milestones. And make sure I get an invitation to your celebration!!
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