They Come and They Go

People move in and out of your life. In fact, I'd say that in ten years you will have forgotten most of the people you spent time with this week. They were co-workers, classmates, neighbors or even friends. But unless there is a "blood tie" it is hard to keep all of these people in your life as your life changes. At least most of the time you have some say about who you choose to keep in your life, but thats not always the case.

A relationship between two people involves a lot more than two people doesn't it? Divorce is a good example because you typically aren't just divorcing your partner, you also divorce their entire families. All of the in-laws become people that you used to be related to. I've been through that and there are nieces and nephews that I miss but I was one of the two main characters in that break-up so I knew what was coming.

But now I'm a fringe player in another loss because my daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of two years. We all loved this kid! He stayed at the house, he played board games with the family and we even traveled with him. Then "Poof" he's gone. At least when you are the main character in the break-up, you get to know the reasons and mentally prepare and say your good-byes. Samantha actually didn't tell us for a couple of weeks because she worried about our reaction. The reasons for the break-up were mature enough and naturally my reaction was to support her, but still... it was hard not to say, "What the Hell?!" "Why?" "What about checking with me first??"

I know that this is just a natural part of modern courtship and in the end I just want them to both be happy. Of course we form attachments to the people our kids date for a long period of time. It's hard not to love someone who loves your kid! But from now on I'm going to maintain a bit of distance and not get too attached. We parents have to remember, it is THEIR relationship - not ours. I trust her judgement and I'm guessing that usually our own great kids will be drawn to other great kids. In fact she's already seeing a guy who seems like another nice kid.

But I'm not getting attached this time. And I'm going to start a movement to bring back arranged marriages. It probably wouldn't have worked before but I believe that my generation really does know best!